I was waging war as a combat medic in the Holy Land when the Prince of Peace disarmed me of my violence.

IN THE MIDDLE of the night in Iraq, I woke up to my sergeant calling for a medic. I rolled out of bed, grabbing my gun and medic bag. While I was sitting in the tent clinic waiting for my patient to be seen, a soldier leaned over and in a conspiratorial whisper said...

As a Veteran, I want to honor Memorial Day, not just Observe it passively. How do we wrestle with honoring American soldiers, our brothers, sisters, moms, fathers and sons and daughters who have died in service to our country on Memorial Day and the weight of watching a  war before our eyes?

I was a christian nationalist: Here’s what changed me.

I went to war knowing what I would die for. I came home from war knowing what was worth living for. To be the first to love. Every. Single. Time.

I don’t want to only memorialize the children killed at Sandy Hook, I want to make sure more kids and Americans stay alive this year instead of being killed by their neighbors. We are here because we will  take action together.

We believe the future can be different and we are willing our country and our community to make changes. Even if it makes people uncomfortable.

We have to do what we haven’t done before.

WE have to tell the hard truths: like women have mental illness, access to guns and have been bullied and have hard emotions to deal with but 90% of murders and mass shootings are committed by males

The Santa suit is long gone, but I still find my feet padding through the snow, returning to the hospital on Christmas Eve night. My sons grew from toddling into rooms offering candy canes, into teenagers who aren’t intimidated by the gray linoleum and the sick patient swallowed up in the middle of the hospital bed. I think about how it all started, Mary’s bellowing laugh and mischievous smile, and sometimes I wonder,  Mary did you know?

Are you weary, holding a heavy who-ville sized Christmas to-do list in one hand and the heartbreak in Israel and Gaza in the other? 

Me too. I want to stop the violence and at the same time hide out on my couch and drink tea. I want both. To change the world and to hide from it. 

Same is true for my kids. 

I want  them to know they can change the world right where they live with acts of connection and compassion and I want to hide the violence of the world from them. I want them to be excited  about getting a Christmas present and excited to be able to give their time and money to getting a present FOR another teenager who is experiencing homelessness. 

I want both things to be true.

What if we put compassion on display this Christmas instead of only consumption?

Here is how!